back in the saddle

It's been many moons since I visited my journal. (I refuse to call it a blog, but that is what it is, I guess.) Just out of curiosity I came back to it and it was like looking at a photo album of moments captured in time...words instead of images. My heart was filled with warmth and I was surprised by reading my past entries. I forgot how much I love to write and how easily it comes to me. My husband is always telling me I'm so good at it (so that's why I have to craft our wedding invitations or write letters and cards to our families and friends, because he doesn't have the way with words that I do.) I am shamelessly going to say it....I am good at writing. And I love writing. So, I should be doing it more.

Hence getting back on the saddle. 

So much has changed since I wrote my last entry. The biggest of all being that I let go of an unhealthy relationship with my ex and have not really had any contact with him. I tried to remain friends but he didn't want that. So I guess that  makes it easier, but it hurt none the less. I moved on and I'm so glad I did. I met Mike not soon after ending it with my ex and after becoming very good friends, we started what has been the best, healthiest relationship I've ever had.  Fast forward three years later and we are now married. In that time between my last blog (cringe) post, I graduated from grad school in 2012 and got a job as a first grade teacher at an amazing school. I'm the happiest I've been and I love my life. That's not to say there haven't been difficulties along the way. I'm just more equipped to deal with them now that I'm emotionally and mentally healthy. Spiritually and physically, those two areas need some TLC. But I can dust off my bible and commit to more regular church attendance. And I can remind myself that it's not "having to go" to the gym, but instead "getting to go" to a beautiful place of health and strength. 
One. Day. At. A. Time. 
I have amazing friends who are there for me, no matter what. I have a job that I love that feels less like a job and IS my calling. I have a family that would do anything for me. I'm lucky. And my journey goes on. And (for now) I will write about it. 
xoxo

words of wisdom by Ely Fuller

"If you enter into healing, be prepared to lose everything. Healing is a ravaging force to which nothing seems sacred or inviolate. As my original pain releases itself in healing, it rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance. I am experiencing the bizarre miracle of reincarnating, more lucidly than at birth, in the same lifetime."-Ely Fuller

what is most meaningful to me?

what provides me the most pleasure?

what am I good at?

counting daily blessings - gratitude lists -

slow down - look at your surroundings - find beauty in everything you see

happiness depends on your state of mind

http://www.yogajournal.com/wisdom/2516?utm_source=Wisdom&utm_medium=newsletter&utm_campaign=Wisdom

Keeping Time on a River

It never ceases to surprise me, the river. And it is, ironically, a familiar feeling - I am standing in that which is moving.  It alters my sense of time.  When the hour hand becomes shadows of overhead arms slinking across the brush beyond the bank, this is the passing of time.  The repetitive taps of the second hand are snakes of grass standing out of the river, always dancing, always moving. As this water flows, in more ways than I can imagine, I am standing in the middle of it. My time is standing still even though the water pushes past me fast and I am aware of everything alive around me. Wading downstream with the current makes navigating the river easier in my opinion.  The water pushes me forward but also offers resistance and it is a feeling that is hard to describe, like feeling gravity’s pull. Water finds the path of least resistance and uses it. Nature is a teacher and, on this day, I am thankfully living in the moment, in what seems to be the perfect moment.

I read the river and wade to the spots that look good for fish. Wading, it is such a strange word for what it actually is—navigating through a beautiful river bed full of hiding rocks that evokes a more romantic and softer sounding word. Wading  is defined as “walking in or through water or something else that similarly impedes normal movement.”  If this is so, then my life is a river. It is not life that impedes my natural movement, but stressors, situations, and whatever else I choose to get caught up in and let hamper my forward movement.  Even going downstream and not having to fight against the current, I step clumsily until I find my balance among the movement of the water. It becomes so natural that I no longer think about walking, but concentrate on what is above water, the fly rod and the sun on my shoulders.  My first casts are stiff and fall short, and I am glad that friends are upstream and is too engrossed in their own casting to notice mine.  I stand still and focus solely on casting and then reeling in my popper so it realistically “pops” across the water.

Catching a fish always surprises me. Perhaps if I fished more, the surprise might dull, but I doubt it. Watching the end of my line disappear while simultaneously feeling the resistance on the line takes my breath away, lights up my face, and connects me with all those from years  ago who fished for sustenance, for survival.  After reeling in a spirited Small Mouth, I carefully hold it with my left hand and remove the hook from its lip with my right, glad it is an easy release.  The second catch is not as smooth, for the fish nearly swallows the popper, the hook down by its gills. My fingers do not fit to get a hold on the lure, so after for help. One friend tells me I have to do it on my own, so I pick up the fish and try again, and still with no success, I am nervous.  I hold the fish in the water and can feel it getting weaker. Starting to panic, I contemplate my next move, and just then, the fish wiggles right out of my hand while, at the same time, the hook mysteriously comes free, and the fish swims away.

I exhale relief but can see luck for what it is and know that the next cast and catch might prove another challenge and that the outcome is up to me.  Again, more lessons for life; nature is such a teacher!  My time is here on this river is for learning to see, to feel, to be.  There are still hours gifted us, to spend that time as we wish, fishing, sitting on a warm rock out of the water, taking it all in—the troops of lilies guarding the banks and the songs of birds among the rippling water sounds.  Knowing that there is a whole summer of this to enjoy makes me feel very blessed and very grateful. 

"This is a very important practice. Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself." — ~Thich Nhat Hanh

It's a good thing I don't keep track mentally of all the times I get carried away on the trains that regularly pass through my day. There's the insecurity train, the fear train, and the worry train. There are more but they all have the same destination - places as far away from calm and from peace that one can go. Depression. Worthlessness. You get the picture. 


I don't keep track of all these trips I go on but the travel does take its toll. It's exhausting going on so many of these train rides. 


The crazy thing about it all is that I choose to get on these trains, to lose myself. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs of an approaching train and can turn my back on it, feeling the rush of wind as it blows right by me. I know where I'd go if I got on that train. I know what things I can do to strengthen those parts of me that know better than to get carried away with fear, anxiety, or insecurities. Yoga grounds me in the moment, with my breath, and all the sensations that the practice brings, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 




Even if it's going out on the back porch and doing a few poses in the sunlight filtering through the dogwood blossoms. The cats doing their own version of yoga beside me, the birds singing. Even ten minutes of this does wonders. 


I've even started a sitting practice. Meditation in baby steps. It challenges me more than I can express. To simply sit and be still. Still body is not so hard. It's stilling my mind that is so hard. I am starting small. Five minutes. And I simply sit. And listen to my breath. And feel my body. And let go any thoughts that come to mind and bring my awareness back to my breathing. 
I read an article that talks about the kind of practice I've been doing. 

 Rather than put yourself in a perfect posture, you just sit down. Rather than think, "I'm going to meditate now," you allow yourself to simply be present with your experience in the moment. That is, you leave the mind open, perhaps using the breath as an anchor but not requiring yourself to cling to that anchor. You keep bringing yourself back to the feelings in your body, to the sensations of the breath, to the play of thoughts. You let yourself be there, feeling whatever you're feeling, without trying to change your state in any way.


I want to live my daily life (every single moment, every breath) grounded, positive, and mindful. And when I do get carried away, I will come back to myself, without judgement, without shame. 


This is a beautiful time of year to focus on ways to stay with myself, be mindful, and give thanks for the beauty that surrounds me. Springtime here is almost intoxicating with all the colors and scents. New growth around me. New growth within. 

Gift

"What we need is the gift of God which makes us able to find in ourselves not just ourselves, but Him; and then our nothingness becomes His all.  This is not possible without the liberation effected by communication and humility.  It requires not talent, not mere insight, but sorrow, pouring itself out in love and trust."
 ~Thomas Merton

Changing rooms in your mind for a day

That is a line from a Hafiz poem that I posted here.

I especially like that line because it is sometimes a challenge for me to let go of patterns of thought or only seeing life from a limited perspective. Getting to change rooms in my mind for day (or infinitely) graces me with a new view, a new vantage point, like looking out of a window of different room. When I have stepped into that new room and looked not only out the window, but what's around me, it enables me to see the dwellings I previously inhabited in my mind that are not healthy, productive, or positive.

A few years ago, I came across an article in Yoga Journal magazine that explained how we get stuck in certain rooms in our mind or mental grooves -

"According to yogic philosophy, we're born with a karmic inheritance of mental and emotional patterns—known assamskaras—through which we cycle over and over again during our lives.

The word samskara comes from the Sanskrit sam (complete or joined together) and kara (action, cause, or doing). In addition to being generalized patterns, samskaras are individual impressions, ideas, or actions; taken together, our samskaras make up our conditioning. Repeating samskaras reinforces them, creating a groove that is difficult to resist. Samskaras can be positive—imagine the selfless acts of Mother Theresa. They can also be negative, as in the self-lacerating mental patterns that underlie low self-esteem and self-destructive relationships. The negative samskaras are what hinder our positive evolution."


This helped me understand how it is possible to repeat old patterns of thought and ultimately behavior. I can create new patterns and the more I follow those, the more they are strengthened. 




 When I started reading the Bible, I found so many places that tell how I can change rooms in my mind simply by accepting God's love for me. 


"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will."
Romans 12:2


"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Romans 15:13

the shower of all places...

We all know the expected monotony that takes place in the shower...washing, shampooing, conditioning, perhaps shaving that day. But once in a rare while, I have profound realizations about my life. They come to me out of nowhere. Literally!
I'm in the middle of rinsing my the shampoo out of my now much shorter hair and out of nowhere, I am drawn to notice the droplets of water falling off my bowed head. It was a sight I can say I've never seen and I've been in that shower who knows how many times. It was like the droplets were falling in slow motion and I could see the light reflecting out of each one, the path each one took through the air. It was surreal. The frame of my vision included my legs and feet which I noticed in different detail, set as the backdrop to these magical, beautiful droplets of water.
And while this was going on, my only thought was simply this: "this moment is your life".

I know there is a quote with this in it - Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.

I love my shower realizations. You end up getting out of the shower, glad to be clean and refreshed, and you've gained some insight. And possibly too smooth legs.

The only explanation I have to these shower moments is that I succumb to intense relaxation of my mind and body while standing under very comforting hotter-than-it-should-be streams of water and in this moment I temporarily let myself go. Let everything go - enough to be mindful of beauty that happens in each moment.

I know it's called mindfulness, but it is something that eludes me even though I seek it. I know I can't stand in infinite showers, so the thought of a meditation practice / a sitting practice is in the workings of my mind. I also know that I can sit on an idea and it never happens so I'm committed to creating moments to have more of these realizations out of the shower. If I can get myself to several yoga classes a week of which I'm reaping the benefits of, then I know I can make time to see how meditating goes. Baby steps!

When the truth hits you square in the soul...

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

by

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.  

I am very inspired by this and so much of it rings true. I can find applicable parts in almost every sentence, and some sentences take my breath away they are so true to my own journey, healing, and life. 

I share this with you all in hopes that you find truth of your own in these words, and that you find inspiration to continue on your journey inward and out.

Opening and Surrendering to Change

"As you learn to recognize and accept the extraordinary power of change and develop the art of surrender, you'll be rewarded with an awakening of the natural alignment between body, mind, and spirit that already exists within you." 


The above quote is from an article in Yoga Journal magazine. Sometimes I look to these kind of sources for inspiration and guidance. And sometimes it happens when things align just so that I am open to receive it.  An external force (a person, passage in a book or magazine, an experience) jolts my awareness and if I am open to receiving the message, I do. I know that sometimes I am not open and that is when, no matter how many books or articles I read, who I talk to, or what I do, I can not make changes that I need to make. Even if I deeply want this change or transformation, it will not happen if I do not take the actions necessary to make it happen. If what I wanted in my life came to me simply because I wanted it, then there would be no problems, no issues, no struggles, no drama. I have to take the steps, the actions necessary to bring about change and transformation. 


The challenge then is to remain open once you've started...to not turn back or give up. This is where I find myself again, like so many other times. But this time is different. I now have God with me, and this I am sure of. 
So this journey is different, I am not alone, and I strive to stay open, keeping my heart open, open to God. 

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." — ~Neale Donald Walsch

I borrowed this quote from a friend's blog. It is fitting for the time of year, a beginning of new year and a chance to look back, look ahead, but  most of all, live fully in each moment. 


I can apply this quote to my multiple comfort zones...mental, physical, social, spiritual. Some zones I am more acquainted with, I know exactly where my area of comfort is and what it feels like to step closer and closer to the edge, and then jump over the edge and see what comes next. In some areas of my life I have yet to really challenge myself and discover where my edge is.  It's funny how the parameters of a comfort zone can change...expand and retract at different times in my life. 


I want to get to know my comfort zones in the different areas of my life, examine what keeps me from venturing out of them, and finally to brave the unknown.


So much is going on in my life. Changes abound...some that I created or initiated, some that I did not.


 I am moving soon. Sad to leave my lil cottage in the country, but excited to see what new experiences await in a new space. It will be good to shed unnecessary belongings and create a new place for myself. The same is true for inner space as well. A new year and a new beginning, not for resolving to fix or change myself, because I am perfect just the way I am, but for a new start to living simply and simply living, taking each day for the gift that it is!


A change that I am initiating is the cutting of my hair. I am excited for a new look and the chance to donate my hair to Hairloss for Children. I am going to ask the stylist, once she sections it off in ponytails, if I can make the cuts.  I would like to keep a small gathered strand and then give some hair to the birds for their nests. The thought of my part of me being up in a tree holding delicate eggs makes me smile. 

to start this new year...

a poem. Hafiz is one of my favorite poets. This poem sums up what I reach for in this coming year...enjoy!

All the Hemispheres

Leave the familiar for a while.

Let your senses and bodies stretch out

Like a welcomed season

Onto the meadows and shores and hills.

Open up to the Roof.

Make a new water-mark on your excitement

And love.

Like a blooming night flower,

Bestow your vital fragrance of happiness

And Giving

Upon our intimate assembly.

Change rooms in your mind for a day.

All the hemispheres in existence

Lie beside an equator

In your heart.

Greet Yourself

In your thousand other forms

As you mount the hidden tide and travel

Back Home.

All the hemispheres in heaven 

Are sitting around a fire

Chatting

While stitching themselves together

Into the Great Circle inside of

You.

~Hafiz

scripture to share...

There are so many places in the Bible that speak to my heart and strengthen me. Here are but a few:


Life by the Spirit - Galatians 5:22-26
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

A Prayer for the Ephesians (and us) - Ephesians 3: 16-21
I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power together with all the Lord's people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever, Amen!

Instructions on Christian living - Ephesians 4:26-27
In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. And do not give the devil a foothold.

do not put off for tomorrow...

what can be done today.

Simply stated yet this one is so hard for me to follow. I have always been a procrastinator and at times want so badly to break myself of this habit. It does not serve me yet why do I keep finding myself waiting until the last  minute to do something or get something done.

I wouldn't be writing about this except that it is becoming a constant with me right now, I'm rushing to finish assignments by their deadline, hoping I don't get a ticket for my car inspection being expired, and all the while kicking myself for knowing better.

I know that this won't help matters, but as much as I try, I fall into the habit of procrastination. There was a nagging thought in the back of my mind that this has something to do with my state of mind and mood. It doesn't help that in the middle of writing this I darted over and did a search of procrastination help and up pops a website about depression and procrastination. Jeez...not what I wanted to read about, but instead of constantly kicking myself for putting things off, perhaps I should try to figure out WHY I am putting them off or waiting until the last minute to do things. And I know it's not because I work well under pressure. That was my story in undergrad. but now I know for certain it is not the reason I procrastinate.

My mission in the next few days is to recognize and keep track of times when I do not procrastinate, or in other words, when I don't put something off to do later. Starting...NOW!

A View of God's Heart

This photo was taken from my church, Olivet Presbyterian, in Ivy Virginia, last year. The glory of God's beauty was not only seen in the sunset, but also in the spirit of the middle school youth group that met that night.
Fast forward to a year later...the youth group has started up again, the kick-off party was last night. I am one of the leaders that will guide the youth on their walk to knowing the Lord in their hearts. This is a challenge because I am still getting to know Him in my life. But this helps me relate to their questions and struggles even more. I believe I have been called by our Father to help the youth of my church open their eyes and hearts to the Lord and understand what we can do to serve him as a group.
I am in prayer for the Holy Spirit to be with us throughout the year as we grow in fellowship and God's love.

In the Lord...

I take refuge. (Pslam 11:1)

Tomorrow is my dad's 62nd birthday. I wrote him a booklet of 62 sayings called "Words to Remember". Half of the sayings were 'famous' quotes or passages from Scripture that speak to me. The other half were my own words to my dad. I cherish that I can share Our Father with my father. For Father's Day last year, I got my dad a Bible. He told me it was the first one he'd had of his own since he was a child. My dad is on his own walk with the Lord. And for this I am so happy!

When I am not, I am strong in the Lord. In those times where I doubt, hurt, question, worry, wonder, and fear, I must remember Him. My comforter, my rock, my Father.
I am learning to give those things (and more) to God, and to not take them back once I've let them go to Him.
He is teaching me so much through my struggles and challenges. And also through joys and blessings.
Life is a beautiful gift He has given me, my plan is written, and it is up to me to see the joy in each day I am afforded.

New Spaces...Inside and Out

I am in my new house for now...I'm sharing a beautiful cottage with a sweet young woman. The house used to be an old school house and was moved and added on to and it is simply wonderful. It is just where I need to be- out in the country in a quiet space where I can relax and focus on myself.
There are two windows in my room, which is located in the "old" part of the house. The floor boards make noise underfoot and I love it! I am more aware of myself out here. There is even a bird nest outside one of my windows on the porch.
There is light and space...in the house and in me.
Welcome Home!

Choosing to make every moment count...

I want to make every moment count. Lately I've caught myself saying, "there just isn't time in my day for (blank)" but when I do that I'm not admitting what other things I've chosen to spend time on, mindless and meaningless things that do not nourish my soul and recharge my spirit.
Today I vow to make every moment count. Instead of rushing around to barely make it to the 8:30 service, I decided to go to the later one in order to give myself some time to pray and eat a good breakfast. Making these little decisions will, in the long run, have huge lasting results. I feel replenished and ready for my day now.

Visions Made Material Made Real

I've heard many people talk about a vision board or vision map. I put two and two together and had an idea of what one was, its purpose and process of making one, but I wanted to find out more than just what I assumed it was. So I googled it....(wondering when they will add that word to a dictionary) :)


HOW TO MAKE AND USE YOUR VISION BOARD
http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/How_to_Use_a_Vision_Board_to_Activate_the_Law_of_Attraction.html

Your personal vision board is only limited by the extent of your own creativity. Some of my students have produced simple vision boards and others have made vision boards that could probably sell at an art show for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. Having artistic ability is not a prerequisite for creating a functional vision board however and the procedures I’ve outlined below can be used by anyone.

The general elements that a well-designed vision board should include are:

Visual. Your subconscious mind works in pictures and images, so make your vision board as visual as possible with as many pictures as you can. You can supplement your pictures with words and phrases to increase the emotional response you get from it.

Emotional. Each picture on your vision board should evoke a positive emotional response from you. The mere sight of your vision board should make you happy and fuel your passion to achieve it every time you look at it.

Strategically-placed. Your vision board should be strategically placed in a location that gives you maximum exposure to it. You need to constantly bath your subconscious mind with it’s energy in order to manifest your desires quicker than you hope.

Personal. Negative feelings, self-doubt, and criticism can damage the delicate energy that your vision board emits. If you fear criticism or justification of your vision board from others, then place it in a private location so it can only be seen by yourself.

Supplies Needed

Foam core board (recommended) or poster board

A large assortment of magazines. You want to make sure that these are in color. You can go to various businesses or hospitals to ask for their old issues.

Glue. I prefer the dispenser type tape rollers, commonly used to mount photos because they are clean and won’t damage your pictures.

Scissors

(Optional) Color inkjet or laser printer

(Optional) 3 1/3” x 4” or larger printer labels. I use Avery #5164 mailing labels that work great.

(Optional) Internet access

Step 1—Compile your pictures. Start by going through your magazines and compiling all the pictures that you can find that are relevant to your goal. Don’t evaluate the pictures or start pasting them onto your board. Just stack them into a pile. If you are internet saavy, then a much quicker method that I do myself is to use an internet search engine to find good pictures that I can use for my board. You can either print the pictures out on paper and then glue it to the board, or print the pictures out onto a self-adhesive label so that it becomes a sticker. This is the preferred method because it is takes much less time to do and you can pinpoint your pictures using very good technology at your hands. Make sure that each image that you put on your board resonates with your heart and makes you excited at the mere look of it. It’s also important when selecting pictures to include anything that is congruent with your goal, such as any changes in your life that might result from obtaining your goal. So if your goal is to have a six figure income, then select pictures of a lifestyle that is congruent with your six figure income. 

Asking yourself the following questions might help you design a congruent vision board:

What would you do differently when you realize your goal?

Where would you travel?

Where would you live?

What would you wear?

What things would you own?

What kind of vehicle would you drive?

What would you do for work?...Or would you work?

Who would you help?

Step 2—Sort and Cut. Go through your pile of pictures and select the ones that impact you the most emotionally. Cut the extraneous material away from the image.


Step 3—Arrange and glue. Start arranging your pictures creatively on your board. Don’t worry about being artistic—that’s not the point. The point is that your board should resonate with your emotions. Arrange your pictures in a way that gives you an emotional connection to your vision board. After you are satisfied with the arrangement, glue all your pictures in place. Additionally, you might want to add writing or drawing on your vision board if you feel that it would better resonate with your emotions. A feature unique to my vision boards is that I also put two labels on the bottom of board that read: “Date created: [today’s date]” and “Date Manifested: [blank]” This lets me know how long my vision has been gestating since its creation and also every time I look at my vision board, not only am I emotionally charged with the pictures, but I also feel an overwhelming sense to see it manifested to completion.


Step 4—Strategic positioning. The most important part of having a vision board is having it in a strategic location that gives you as much visual exposure to it throughout the day. For most of us, this is in the office, but if that is not possible or appropriate, then try your living room or your bedroom. Some people I know mount their vision boards on the ceiling above their bed so that it is the first thing they see when they wake up and the last thing they see when they go to sleep. If you are sensitive to what others might say of your vision board, then be sure to keep it in a safe area where only you will see it. Negative criticism or justification of your dreams can kill the energy that your vision board releases. As Brian Tracy states, “What they don’t know, can’t hurt you.”[7]


Step 5— Update your vision board. Your vision board has to inspire you. It has to charge you with renewed passion everytime you look at it and over time and as you progress closer towards your vision, you might find that some of the images or pictures on your vision board don’t really carry as much emotional impact on you as they did before. When this happens, you’ll want to update your vision board with new fresh images that do inspire you. You’re vision board is not a finished piece of art after its initial creation. It’s a dynamic piece of art that shifts and changes as your vision shifts and changes. Therefore, if you find your level of passion that your vision board gives you is growing weaker, then update it to bring fresh new emotions to it.

Dance always finds me just when I need her the most...

 I am so very excited to begin dancing again. It's been too long. I had a re-introduction of sorts recently doing some African dancing with friends for Man Ray Day. This was a day-long festival celebrating the artist Man Ray. An exhibit of his work was featured at the University and the festival included drumming, dancing, arts and crafts, and delicious food.
 

But about the dancing...it first started out just me and another woman who had taken classes with the wife of the main or lead drummer. We rehearsed with the drummers for three Wednesdays and met on our own outside of that practice time for some more practice. My body felt the absence of dance, or any kind of workout for that matter. To my surprise, some other friends joined in, one that just so happoened to be visiting from California. It was such a good time. I will post a picture of us when I get it.
We (the dancers) alternated with the drummers and danced to everyother song. We did a total of four dances, each on lasting about five minutes (but it felt much longer in the heat.) Oh yes, did I forget to mention that we were under a tent outside from noon to three. We danced three sets with four dances in each set. My body was electric with lactic acid. I did not stretch sufficiently. But I did get some wonderful massage from my love and my muscles were happy after that.
Dances:
Sinte
Kakilambe
Manjani
CouCou
 
I may even post a video of us dancing if I can figure out how to transfer it to my laptop.
 
Blessings,
me

"Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." Proverbs 4:23

The footnotes in my Bible expand on this:  "Our heart - our feelings of love and desire - dictates to a great extent how we live our lives because we always find time to do the things we enjoy.  Make sure your affections lead you in the right direction.  Put boundaries on your desires:  Don't go after everything you see.  Look straight ahead, keep your eyes fixed on your goal, and don't get sidetracked on detours that lead to sin."


This passage of scripture found me very fittingly this morning after I was talking about this very topic with my love last night before we went to bed. Boundaries are something that I've recently learned to establish in several areas of my life and now this passage and the footnotes give me a whole new way to look at them. 
I really like the part in the footnote that talks about always finding time to do the things we enjoy...this is so true. Yet I am constantly feeling like there is not enough time. Every thing we do, think, feel, believe is a choice. In every waking moment I am faced with choices, most of them do not even require active attention or awareness, but seem automatic like some default setting. I realize that I lose so much awareness of the present moment. Living fully in each moment is not easy because most of the time my mind or my feelings are off in another place. As long as I am holding onto the past or putting myself in the future in situations that have yet to happen (worrying) then I can not BE where I am in that moment....even if it is brushing my teeth, eating lunch, or driving. 
I want to really be mindful, or better yet, be heartful in all I do, all I think, all I speak, and in just being. 


Be beautiful and be with your heartbeat that tells you "now" "now" "now" as it beats because that is all we really have.