"This is a very important practice. Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself." — ~Thich Nhat Hanh

It's a good thing I don't keep track mentally of all the times I get carried away on the trains that regularly pass through my day. There's the insecurity train, the fear train, and the worry train. There are more but they all have the same destination - places as far away from calm and from peace that one can go. Depression. Worthlessness. You get the picture. 


I don't keep track of all these trips I go on but the travel does take its toll. It's exhausting going on so many of these train rides. 


The crazy thing about it all is that I choose to get on these trains, to lose myself. I'm getting better at recognizing the signs of an approaching train and can turn my back on it, feeling the rush of wind as it blows right by me. I know where I'd go if I got on that train. I know what things I can do to strengthen those parts of me that know better than to get carried away with fear, anxiety, or insecurities. Yoga grounds me in the moment, with my breath, and all the sensations that the practice brings, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. 




Even if it's going out on the back porch and doing a few poses in the sunlight filtering through the dogwood blossoms. The cats doing their own version of yoga beside me, the birds singing. Even ten minutes of this does wonders. 


I've even started a sitting practice. Meditation in baby steps. It challenges me more than I can express. To simply sit and be still. Still body is not so hard. It's stilling my mind that is so hard. I am starting small. Five minutes. And I simply sit. And listen to my breath. And feel my body. And let go any thoughts that come to mind and bring my awareness back to my breathing. 
I read an article that talks about the kind of practice I've been doing. 

 Rather than put yourself in a perfect posture, you just sit down. Rather than think, "I'm going to meditate now," you allow yourself to simply be present with your experience in the moment. That is, you leave the mind open, perhaps using the breath as an anchor but not requiring yourself to cling to that anchor. You keep bringing yourself back to the feelings in your body, to the sensations of the breath, to the play of thoughts. You let yourself be there, feeling whatever you're feeling, without trying to change your state in any way.


I want to live my daily life (every single moment, every breath) grounded, positive, and mindful. And when I do get carried away, I will come back to myself, without judgement, without shame. 


This is a beautiful time of year to focus on ways to stay with myself, be mindful, and give thanks for the beauty that surrounds me. Springtime here is almost intoxicating with all the colors and scents. New growth around me. New growth within.